Good Morning, and Happy Friday!! I don’t think TGIF is really a thing anymore (oooffff….that probably really showed my age) but it SHOULD be.  Cause seriously: thank God.  Life has been more than a little crazy lately for our family, so any moment to slow down for half a second, or to at least feel like you CAN slow down, is a relief.  Plus, it’s these last few days of summer! For us locals, that means we’re just about to the time where we can go to the beach and enjoy it 🙂 Peak tourist season is calming down a little bit, and I’ve been chomping at the bit to get this baby boy of ours back to the beach before we lose the season.  Who knows, maybe this weekend we’ll actually manage to get out there! But, I digress: before we reach the weekend, we’ve got some planning things to discuss! Let’s get into this week’s topic and hopefully make you feel more confidant about this process.  It always helps to know what’s going on ahead of time, and I, for one, apparently knew nothing going in to buy my own wedding dress.  Here’s what I know now, that I didn’t know then!

First things first: there is another detailed blog post already up about finding the dress! Make sure to give that one a read too: there’s lots of helpful info in there about the process: some of it will probably be the same in here, but this round we’re going to briefly talk about the first stages of finding the dress, and then go into more detail about what comes after you’ve found that dream gown.

Your wedding gown truly is a “one of a kind” type garment: that means wedding gowns kind of have their own rules! You’ll want to give yourself plenty of time: the suggested average is 6-12 months out from your wedding day.  I will say, my suggested average is more like 9-12 months out, and I’ll explain why.  If you are not buying a dress “off the rack” the gown that you select will be custom made for you.  This process takes time: upwards of 6-7 months typically.  Then, upon receiving the gown, you will have to be fitted again for the alterations process to take place.  Depending on the work level of the alterations, that process can take an additional 1-2 months.  Giving yourself plenty of time will help to alleviate a lot of stress, and also open up your dress options.  Be honest about your wedding date! Your dress consultant should make sure to only show you gowns that can be created in time for your event.  Now, what do I mean by “off the rack”? Lots of bridal dress shops have big sales events in an effort to clear out mass amounts of inventory: “off the rack” basically means “as is”, or the dress you try on is actually the dress you walk out with.  Great option if this is an area where you are looking to save a little money and absolutely does NOT mean that you won’t have a gorgeous gown on your big day! Put your money where it is the most important to you and make the sacrifices in the areas you feel you can.  

Another important factor for the timing of your gown is whether or not you are planning to have bridal portraits done.  Many brides opt for the bridal shoot, pick their favorite shot, have it printed large and framed to be on display at the wedding.  Some opt for the shoot but don’t display the photos anywhere but at home.  I will ALWAYS say, go for the bridal shoot! It’s such an awesome time to really see exactly how your look has come together.  You can see it all, wear it all more than just once, and get to make any adjustments or additions you feel you need for the big day.  Obviously, the more time you give yourself the easier it will be to fit in that photo shoot! 

This is also a little note from experience…my alterations process from my own wedding was super difficult.  If I had not given myself the amount of time that I did, things could have been fairly tragic.  Remember when you go to get fitted for your gown, they will order the size to accommodate your largest measurement.  Makes perfect sense, but can be tricky depending on what your measurements actually are.  When I got married, I was a twig.  And that’s being kind.  My largest measurement was my hips.  When my gown was ordered and made, it was absolutely way too big: which meant the alterations bill was going to be just as big if not bigger.  My dress also had lace……of course! Lace will up the ante big time: it has to be removed, the alterations done, the lace adjusted and then re-sewn onto the gown in the proper alignment for the pattern.  Lots of labor, lots of time, and LOTS of money.  This is also why I am SO grateful I did the bridal portraits.  When I got my pictures done, I was able to see where even AFTER alterations, my dress still did not fit me the way it was supposed to.  The gown went back to alterations, very last minute, and was picked up finally done two days before our wedding.  I was incredibly stressed, shocked by a HUGE alterations bill on top of an already very expensive gown, unhappy with the way the dress looked in my portraits, but ultimately super stoked with the day of and the photos.  I will also say, I probably notice in my portraits where the gown was still too big way more than anybody else did.  Or they are just too nice to tell me! 

Actually going through the alterations process is it’s own beast.  Depending on the amount needed to be done, you can have several times of needing to slip into that dress and see how it’s coming along! For your first appointment, you’ll want to make sure you have some basic undergarments that you’ll need, and anything else you are planning on wearing the day of.  Opting for white or skin color underwear will allow you to stand there in your dress and see it, truly, and not just the hot pink underwear you forgot you were wearing that day! Wedding dresses, for all their layers, aren’t very forgiving of color shining through! And don’t worry, I’m not being mean: I actually did that.  Spent the entire appointment not being able to see anything else! And also fairly mortified because I’m an absolute die hard perfectionist.  It hurt a little!  Make sure you also bring the shoes you’ll be wearing on the big day: in order to make sure the hem is just right you’ll want those shoes in a fitting, especially if they’re not flats.  I gotta say it too, the shoes were probably one of the hardest parts for me! Finding a shoe that I would feel comfortable in the whole night, but also fancy enough to feel like a “wedding day” shoe was a whole pain in the you know what.  I couldn’t make a decision to save my life! Thankfully, I knew I was going to be going with flats.  They made the most sense for me, as Ellie and I are both close in height and I did NOT want to walk around in heels all night.  Also, for all the fuss in the decision making, my shoes were hardly seen, and even though they were flats I still ended up coming out of them before the night was through.  Pick your battles is all I’m saying (lol) I could have saved myself a lot of headache if I could have taken a chill pill about those dang shoes.  Enough about the shoes, back on point…

Take lots of pictures!  Take them when you choose the dress, and throughout your fitting process.  Having them as a reference while you’re selecting the rest of what you’ll be wearing that day is a huge help.  Even though the gown of your dreams is burned into your brain, it’s not the same as a good image in front of you for reference.  During the time your dress is being made, and even when being altered, you’ll be selecting all of those other elements: your hair piece(s), veil, shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup style, nail color, and, of course, your something blue! A picture is definitely worth a thousand words (maybe more) when it comes to making sure everything is coming together for your vision.  It will also help you in ensuring everyone’s look for the day will complement each other and look cohesive and put together, groom and wedding party included.  Ask questions, and don’t be afraid to speak up if you’re concerned with the way something looks.  This is a huge deal, and it really matters that you’re happy, comfortable and feel gorgeous.  Of course, that also means being realistic about what can and can’t be done, and being kind.  You’ll always catch more flies with honey (so they say).  

Most of the large wedding dress shops do their alterations in house when you purchase through them: it makes things a lot easier, as you don’t have to transport the gown before it’s done or go through the process of finding someone reputable to do the alterations.  In reality, it more than likely does jack up the cost of the alterations, as they are a large business charging set prices and not a smaller business focused solely on the alterations process.  You do not have to use their alterations department if you feel better about a different seamstress.  In the event that you buy a dress off the rack, or maybe even have a gown from a family member that you want to rework for your own day, it will be on you to find a seamstress to do the work.  Approach this as you would finding any other vendor: research the most reputable ones in your area, and try to see pictures of past work.  Keep in mind, the same process holds true for your bridesmaids.  If the dresses are purchased at a larger store that has their own alterations and you opt to stay in house, the cost of the alterations can very easily be the same as the cost of the dress.  Opting for a better priced seamstress outside of the dress store is not a bad thing at all, but take it with a grain of salt.  If you are going to outsource your wedding gown, make darn sure the vendor you choose is proficient and current with wedding gowns specifically!  Don’t go for them just because the price is so much better: make sure the work is equal quality.  For your bridesmaids, especially if they have a simple fabric and more basic, minimal alterations needed such as a hem or shortened strap, it will probably be much easier on their wallets to outsource.

I hope that the ramblings in this post are able to help you walk into your dress shopping and alterations process feeling like you have some idea of what’s happening, and less stressed because of it.  I was so nervous and excited, and really had no idea what to expect out of my own process: it would have been a lot less stressful if I just had a little heads up about some things! It’s not like we get to do this process every day! Now that I’m a part of the wedding industry, I could walk in and pick my dress like a pro (ha) skin colored underwear and all.  But who really knows any of that the first time around?! Hopefully, now, you do 🙂 

Happy planning y’all!